Why Sirius Never Enters The Talent Show
by GlitterGal1
Summary: ~*!WARNING!*~ Filled with insanity!
1. POTATOE!

Ron and Harry were just listening to music, when the doorbell rang. Harry jumped up to get the door. IT WAS THE  
  
SERIAL KILLER DRACO MALFOY! I'm just kidding, making sure you're paying attention. It was Ginny's friend, Neville.  
  
"She's upstairs," Harry said.  
  
Neville ran upstairs.  
  
"Hi, Neville," Ron said not even looking up from the paper he just picked up.  
  
"What's that?" Harry asked.  
  
"Talent show is in two weeks. The award this year is, MEOW MIX!" he read from the paper. No, I'm not joking about that part.  
  
"We have to win!" yelled Harry.  
  
"What do you mean by 'WE'?" asked Ron.  
  
"YOU DON'T WANT TO WORK WITH ME!?" yelled Harry.  
  
"Nope, I'm gonna sing a song by myself!" Ron replied, looking satisfied.  
  
"Fine then, don't whine at me when you can't have any Meow Mix!" Harry replied to Ron's reply.  
  
Just then Ginny, came walking downstairs with Neville.  
  
"We're getting married!" Ginny yelled to get the friends' attention.  
  
"Congratulations, have a good time," Ron said without taking his eyes off his friend for one second.  
  
"We'll watch it on tape later," Harry said, also still staring at the other friend.  
  
Harry turned to run upstairs, but before Harry could run up to her room, a pineapple in fur jumped out and started doing the Macarena! Yes, it was a dancing pineapple in fur! The horror! I really hope you can tell that was made up, if not go jump into a bucket of ice cubes.  
  
Harry actually got to run up to his room. So, Ron ran into his room.  
  
Harry sat in his room for three hours, thinking of what to do for the Talent Show. While he was thinking, Ron was practicing his song, well, the name, you'll find out later.  
  
In those three hours, Neville went home, and Ginny decided to enter the talent show, with a wonderful act, it was to start River dancing, while singing the Mentos commercial song! Ok, she won't be River dancing, but she might sing the Mentos  
  
Commercial Song.  
  
Then all of a sudden, the door opened, who was it you ask? It was AN EVIL PANCAKE FROM KENTUCKY!!!  
  
It was really Darth Vadar!  
  
"Hermione, I am your father," said my buddy Darth.  
  
The people's friend, Hermione, had just walked in while Darth was saying that.  
  
"Whoa! Dad isn't my dad, this guy is! Oh my gosh!" yelled Hermione, sounding like a surfer dude at first.  
  
"Wait, you aren't my Hermione, you're just a ballerina," Darth said, with that he disappeared.  
  
"Don't I look pretty!" Hermione bellowed.  
  
Ron and Harry ran downstairs. Upstairs they had made up, and agreed, whoever wins gives the other a quarter of the  
  
Meow Mix.  
  
Dumbledore, fell off a tree into the open window, and said, "I have some good news and some bad news. Which would you like to hear first? The good? I found a nickel, and named it Bob. The bad news is, Bob's a GIRL!!!" Dumbledore started crying.  
  
The Dumbledore just cried until it drowned, I don't know how, but it drowned.  
  
Any ways, two weeks later Ron was on stage. He was singing Oops I Did It Again, Feather Me Style! "Oops I did it again, I played with your life, scarred you instead! Oh Percy, Percy, Oops you think I'm obsessed, I came from below. I'm not that inn-o-cent...." He sang.  
  
Harry decided to give good, but funny advice.  
  
"The most important advice is, always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much! Also, when you come to a fork in the road, take it! It only makes sense, that if your parents never had children, chances are you won't either. Trust me, it takes two to lie, one to lie and one to listen. You should also know, there's no such thing as an evil pizza. It's just something they made up to scare kids, like the Boogieman or Michael Jackson. I want to share something with you: The three little sentences that will get you through life. Number 1: Cover for me. Number 2: Oh, good idea, Boss! Number 3: It was like that when I got here! Just, don't have a cow, man. Do you want to know something, you laugh at me because I am different, I laugh at you because you're the same! This is the second most important thing to remember, before you criticize someone, walk a mile in their shoes. That way when you criticize them, you'll be a mile away and have their shoes!" He managed to say through fits of laughter.  
  
But the act that won it all, was Ginny's act, with Hermione. They didn't sing the Mentos song, they sang, I'm A Little Teapot!  
  
So the prizes went to Ginny and Hermione in 1st, place, who got Meow Mix, Harry in 2nd, place got Kibbles and Bits, and Ron in 3rd place, got the best thing ever, a dancing pineapple in fur!  
  
Just then, yes this is true, a chicken with no feathers ran in screaming, "FEATHER ME!"  
  
It then ran into a wall and died, so everyone lived happily ever after, except, Voldie, who is the same thing as Dumbledore, but eviler, never got over Bob the girl nickel.  
  
Though during one night, an alarm clock went running by, chased by a cheese omelet!  
  
"I am cheese omelet! I will eat all alarm clocks! MWAHAHAHAH*Deep Breath*HAHAHAHAHAHA!" The omelet was screaming.  
  
An angry mob of lamps, with pitchforks and torches, ran after the omelet.  
  
"In the name of the moon I will punish you!" The front lamp screamed.  
  
This all happened because of the Talent Show. So Sirius never enters, he's Bacon enough.  
  
THE END! 


	2. Belongings

I am sorry for not writing the disclaimer! All Harry Potter characters belong to me (wink wink!) We all know I'm lying. Thanks to these people:  
  
OkiePokieNothing for creating her and her quotes  
  
StarFig for creating Feather Me and making me hooked on pineapple  
  
I got the Bob the girl nickel from OkiePokieNothing. I don't know where she got it. So it probably was from The Fairly Odd Parents.  
  
George Lucas for creating Luke and Darth  
  
1.1  
  
Matt Groening for creating The Simpsons, from which I got quotes  
  
And  
  
Everyone else who created something.  
  
Liz,  
  
2 The Girl Who Loves Brad Ward  
  
P.S. I can't believe I'm being serious! Sirius Black!!!!!!!!!!!!! (Is cool cool cool!) 


End file.
